Hero Takes a Fall
by Taer
Summary: A series of stories featuring Lorelai falling off various things such as roofs and banisters... Randomness x 1,000!
1. The Roof

**Disclaimer-- I don't own them, just wish I was Lorelai's best friend!**

**Summary: A series of events that feature Lorelai falling off of something. You can tell which season eachchapter is in by Rory's age... I will mention it somewhere in the first paragraph. Happy Reading!**

**_One- The Roof._**

It had been a relatively quiet day in the Hollow. Birds sang little tunes, chirping and fluttering about, and Taylor Doose had been shanghaiing people into buying his ice cream all afternoon. Other then that Luke Danes had been having a very relaxing day. There were a few customers in the diner, but nothing major like the 6am crowd or during lunch hour. He looked up to see a seventeen year old girl running across the street frantically. It was none other then Rory Gilmore. _Must be on a caffeine withdrawal, _he thought as she practically ripped down the door to get inside. The bells over the door didn't even know how to react, so they just went mad, emitting numerous clashing sounds.

Luke was about to laugh, but as the angelic girl got closer, the look of terror her features had taken on reserved him. She stumbled up to the counter, heaving in an ever so delicate way from all the running.

"Rory, what is the matter?" He asked, dropping the infamous counter cleaning rag.

"Mom- gutters- roof- fall-" She said in-between huge gasps.

"What?" He asked, frantically trying to search out the gist.

Once she had calmed her breathing a bit, she looked up at him, piercing blue eyes swimming, "Mom fell of the roof!" She finally exclaimed.

"What?" He practically shouted.

"Come on!" She exclaimed, grabbing the flannel and dragging him around the counter, out the door, down the steps, across the street, _down _the street and finally to the crap shack.

Luke stopped in his tracks when he saw her. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore was lying motionless in the front yard, not moving, which, in fact, is the very definition of the word 'motionless'.

"Rory, call an ambulance." He said. Rory flew into the house immediately. Luke approached Lorelai slowly and to his surprise she was somewhat awake. "Lorelai?" He asked gently, crouching down next to her.

"Luke?" She groaned, attempting to sit up.

"No, don't move." He said.

"I fell off the roof." Ignoring him, she sat up and rubbed her ankle, then her head.

He stifled a relieved laugh, "Yeah, I know. The ambulance will be here any minute."

"Cool hand, do _not_ laugh at me. Given my current situation I believe that it is _totally_ uncalled for." She scolded, "I was only trying to clean the gutters, and if you had done it I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

"Your right, I'm sorry." Luke chuckled as Rory bounded down the steps and back outside.

**Review!**


	2. The Banister

**_Two- The Banister_**

It had been a relatively quiet Friday Night Dinner so far and Lorelai Victoria Gilmore was restless. She picked at her pot roast absent mindedly and gazed across the table at her 21 year old daughter, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, every few minutes. Richard Gilmore was on business this particular week and it was just the girls. They had immediately exhausted all small talk topics and had moved onto silence.

Suddenly, the sound of Will Smith's "Switch" filled the room. Lorelai scrambled to retrieve her cell phone from her purse and silence it.

"Lorelai! Honestly!" As usual, Emily Gilmore frowned upon her daughters incompetent behavior. "What is that racket?"

"Its _Will Smith_ Mom…" Lorelai searched her mother's face for some kind of recognition. Emily's features displayed a mixture of utter confusion and pure disgust. "You know, 'The Fresh Prince'?" Lorelai put on her best Will Smith voice, "_Yo baby, yo baby, yo!"_ This earned her a giggle from Rory and another look of disapproval from Emily.

By this time Will had quieted himself and Lorelai's phone was telling her that she had missed a call from her fiancé, none other than Lucas Danes. Pouting, Lorelai put her cell phone back in her purse.

"That was Luke, wasn't it?" Rory asked, a knowing smile dancing across her face.

"No." Lorelai said mischievously. A moment passed before her voice was heard once more, "Yes." she admitted. Emily just rolled her eyes and continued eating her meal.

After they had all finished their food Rory's grandmother ordered the maid to get them some desert. Once they all had been served by the flustered help, Lorelai announced, "I have to pee."

"How charming." Emily commented.

Lorelai grabbed her purse and ventured out of the dining room and towards the stairs. She climbed them slowly, as not to make any noises, and eventually found herself in her old room.

The whimsical woman grabbed her pinkphone and flipped it open. She dialed a familiar number and waited as it rang.

"Hello?" The gruff voice of one diner owner came over the line. This was very diner owner Lorelai had spent many dirty nights with. It was only diner owner who could keep up with all her cultural references. It was the _very _diner owner she went to with her problems, and it was the only person she could let her guard down in front of, the only one she could cry in front of. This very diner owner was much more then her sex slave, not that he wasn't her sex slave, because he was that, too.

"Hi, this is Cassandra, from the other night? You never called me." Lorelai said in a high pitched rendition of her own voice.

"Lorelai." He scolded, mock annoyance plaguing his voice.

"Hi babe." He could hear her lips curling into that charming little smile even over the phone."You called before?"

"Yea, I was just wondering when you were going to be home tonight?" He asked.

"Soon, we're already on desert." She assured him.

"OK, I'm looking forward to it." He said suavely. "Class dismissed."

"Thanks, hon. See you soon." She said, "Bye."

"Bye."

Lorelai folded her phone and dropped it in her purse. She wandered out of her old room and down the hallway towards the stairs. Eyeing them, she couldn't help but notice how long, winding and inviting the banister on the staircase was. She had never noticed this before, in all her years of living in this house it had never crossed her mind.

Before the 14-year-old-living-in-a-38-year-old's-body could stop herself, she was tucking her purse under her arm and plopping her butt on the top of the banister. She pushed herself off with one foot and squealed in excitement as she flew down the staircase.

A huge thud was heard throughout the Elder Gilmore Residence that night. When Rory arrived in the foyer, what she saw had her shrieking with laughter.

Lorelai Victoria Gilmore was sprawled out on the expensive carpet, and the pumps that had once elegantly graced her feet had flown off and hit the wall, landing by the drink cart. Her purse had opened, pouring its contents all over the room. Her nylons had huge runs in them and her hair had locks escaping the elastic she used to pull it into a ponytail at the base of her neck. The woman's skirt had come up, exposing her, err, undergarments.

By the time Lorelai had placed everything back in her purse, put her shoes on, and pulled herself off the floor, Rory was on her knees, crying with laughter. Emily even allowed herself a little chuckle at her daughter's expense.

"Mom! What were you _thinking?"_ Rory asked, gasping for air, "Oh my god-" She paused to emit more giggles, "I think I might _pee a little_ I'm laughing so hard, I- I think I already did!"

The laughter didn't end there, no, it continued all night. Rory's laughter continued throughout desert and the car ride home. When they arrived in Stars Hollow Rory obviously _had_ to share the antic dote with Luke. Yes, the soon to be step father and step daughter were in stitches by the time they were all ready for bed.

Yes, Lorelai was annoyed, even a bit peeved at Luke and Rory, but she didn't allow herself to get too mad at them. She remembered the words of one wise sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea, "Sandy, we all have to be able to look in the mirror and laugh at ourselves sometimes."

She didn't really know how this related to her situation, as her name wasn't Sandy and she hadn't looked in the mirror. Her name was Lorelai Gilmore and she had fallen off the banister… but somehow she felt that it fit as the moral of the story.

**Review... pretty please with Luke andJess and Dean and Logan and Tristin and Christopher and Martyallon top! Better then a measily cherry,am Iright or am I right? ((Sorry If I forgot any of the hunky hunky boyfriends on the show... just let me know))**


	3. Cletus and Desdemona

**_Three- Cletus and Desdemona_**

It was a relatively quiet day at The Dragonfly Inn. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore had sent the guests, The Finklermens, on a nature walk with Michel, who was most delighted with the situation.

After a few hours of peace, Lorelai grew very, very bored. She had grabbed the phone and called her 21 year old daughter, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, and asked her to come hang out at the Inn with her. Rory had readily accepted and driven from her dorm to Stars Hollow in 20 minutes flat.

Soon Lorelai's boredom had rubbed itself off on the younger Gilmore and they decided to venture out into the barn.

"Hi Cletus." Lorelai greeted the big chestnut colored Quarter Horse by shoving an apple in his face.

Rory walked up to Desdemona, the second horse, feebly. Desdemona was the carbon copy of her stable mate, but a bit thinner. Rory offered the quadruped a carrot and then ripped her hand away from the horse's muzzle as soon as she took it between her teeth.

"Rory, we _have_ to get you over this fear of horses you have." Lorelai giggled.

"Its not a _fear!_ And that pony _did_ die." Rory said, referring to the time when her first pony ride and that pony's death came back to back.

"Let's go for a ride!" Lorelai exclaimed, clapping her hands together like a Sea Lion.

"Mom, _no!_" Too late. Lorelai had disappeared into the tack room to retrieve the saddles. "Please!" Rory begged. Lorelai emerged lugging two huge western saddles in her wake.

Sighing, Rory took one of the saddles from her whimsical mother and threw it in front of Desdemona's stall.

Within 20 minutes, both horses were brushed, saddled, and ready to go. The Gilmore girls lead them outside where Lorelai swung into Cletus' saddle with ease. _I guess all of those riding lessons paid off!_ She thought as she squished around in the saddle, getting comfortable. Rory stood awkwardly on the ground next to Desdemona.

"Put your foot in the stirrup, hon." Lorelai said.

"I _know _how to do it." Rory snapped, placing her foot in the stirrup and throwing herself into the saddle quite ungracefully. Desdemona's head went up and she shuffled forward a few steps. Flustered, Rory frantically grabbed at the reins in an attempt to stop Desdemona's movement.

Lorelai's face contorted with laughter, and she jiggled her feet about as she giggled at Rory's expense. All of a sudden Michel and the Finklermens emerged from the woods, pushing aside branches and making a ton of noise. Cletus' head shot up, his ears perked, and his hindquarters launched him into a full fledged gallop. He was clearly afraid of the man with the thick French accent.

He burst into the woods and carried Lorelai down the trails and toward the lake. She clung to his back as he ran like a bat out of hell, pulling his reins as hard as she could in a vain attempt to slow his flight.

As Cletus neared the lake he showed no signs of deceleration. Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut as the chestnut plunged into the murky water, sending it curling up around the both of them. The horse stopped short, sending the woman- who had more pop culture references in her then Best Week Ever- splashing into the Inn's personal body of water.

Rory, atop Desdemona (Dirty!), came sauntering onto the beach in time to see Lorelai dive headfirst into the lake. She was followed by Michel, who had sent the Finklermens to their rooms to freshen up.

Michel and Rory shared a glance before bursting into maniacal laughter. Drenched, Lorelai stood in the knee-high water and glared at Cletus with mock disgust as he moseyed out of the lake to join Michel, Rory, and Desdemona on the shore.

"You were right Mom, a ride was a good Idea!" Rory said between giggles.

**REVIEW :D**


	4. King Kong

**King Kong**

Lorelai Victoria Gilmore-Danes stepped out of the movie theatre with her 22 year old daughter- Lorelai _Leigh_ Gilmore- and a smile on her face that cold winter day. They had just seen the three hour King Kong remake and a flurry of snowflakes were now falling from the gray sky and crashing to the ground in a frenzy. The elder Lorelai peered upwards and into the loving face of the blizzard.

"Everything's _magical_ when it snows." Lorelai sighed happily. She linked arms with her daughter as they passed Taylor's Old Fashioned Soda Shoppe. Her gaze fell upon a pair of pink striped socks that had made Taylor's roof their abode. They were laying their idly as Mother Nature blanketed them with flakes of snow. "My socks!" Lorelai suddenly exclaimed, "I've been _looking_ for those!"

Rory's piercing blue eyes eyed (that's what eyes do- they 'eye' things) the socks. "How did your socks end up on Taylor's roof?" She asked, amazed even after 22 years at her mother's antics. She quickly shook her head, "Never mind, I don't really want to know."

Lorelai's brow furrowed with concentration.

"Mom, your not seriously thinking of getting them." Rory said, eyes still on the socks. When there was no response, the younger Lorelai tried again, "They look _very_ happy there." She assured her mother.

That's when she noticed Mrs. Gilmore-Danes hoisting herself up and onto the nose of Taylor's ice cream truck, which was parked on the street next to the shop.

"Mom!" Rory exclaimed.

"Rory, Mommy needs you to be quiet right now; she's trying to pull of a 'King Kong climbs the Empire State building in hopes to be with Fay Wray' stunt here." Lorelai said, now on the roof of the truck.

"That stunt trips of the tounge." Rory said, rolling her eyes.

Lorelai was nowleaning overever-so-carefully across the side walk and resting her hands on the gutter of the Ice Cream Parlor. Extending her right arm, she wrapped her fingers around the socks. All of a sudden herconverse sneakers started to loose contact with the slippery truck roof. She screamed bloody murder as she fell through the air. Lorelai Victoria Gilmore-Danes fell to the sidewalk with a thud and a grunt.

Rory rushed to her side, her features creasing into a concerned/amused look.

"Mom, you are _so _stupid." Was all Lorelai Leigh Gilmore had to say. A small giggle escaped her lips.

"Don't worry about me, only daughter, I'm fine… thank god my arm broke the fall." Lorelai's voice dripped with sarcasm as she got up, brushing the snow off her hineyrumpus. She rubbed her wrist and pouted. Rory giggled as they made their way towards Luke's for dinner.

"Well, Mom, I don't know about King Kong, but you would have made a good _Anne_ in the remake. That scream was way better then anything I heard Naomi Watts belt out just now."

**I don't think this one was so good... I think I peaked with the Banister thing.. haha.**


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